A very belated happy 2022! I don’t know if it’s been the same for you, but the fact that it’s already the 20th is shocking to me! The weeks have just flown by and while I’ve been trying to get back into the swing of things, my productivity is way down. I think I’m just trying to deal at the moment, so the passing of the days is something surprising to me.
Part of trying to deal has been coming to terms with the huge change that is upon me this year. For me it’s motherhood, moving into our own place, and figuring things out job wise later this year.
For you it might be these same things. Or perhaps it’s figuring things out after a relationship ended. Or perhaps that new relationship or even a new stage in your relationship. Maybe it’s moving to a different country. Getting a pet. Going to study. Moving to a new job, etc.
Life is full of change. And if you’ve been following my blog for a while, you know that every so often I ponder these things. And often struggle with them too. There was that time I freaked out about turning 30 and finding my place as my slightly different self. Or at least, trying to make peace with who I had become in this new stage of life.
There was also that time I went through a major job change which unsettled me. All I wanted to do was crawl back to the comfort of my “easier” and what I still often see as more fun time, at least compared to adulting. Ah, my matric and college years. I still remember them fondly.
Uncertainty is Scary… But it’s Going to Be Okay
Honestly, there is a lot of uncertainty for me this year. It’s been a long time since I can say that I’ve experienced this crazy level of uncertainty. That for me is the hardest thing about change. The unknowns about the decisions you make.
If you’re an anxious person like me, often it takes weeks, months, or even years to make really big decisions. Catastrophic thinking is a thing. But the more I’ve had to do it, the more I realised that even when it’s in some cases been harder, the change was for the better.
So for me, who I’m going to be as a mother is uncharted territory. How I’ll handle having not just one child, but two new babies at once is going to be interesting, and I truly hope, better than it sounds in my head. I feel bad saying that, but there is a reason I delayed having kids for so long.
To me it represented a crazy level of responsibility, loss of freedom, loss of self, and the potential of taking those little humans and screwing them up because I have issues. Now I’m hanging onto the joy and fulfillment and love, cuteness, and fun that everyone else associates with having kids.
I have a feeling, that it will be all these things, including my more negative view, hopefully without the monumental screwing up and severe loss of self part. And figuring out the job thing, I would love to keep writing. But it will become clear whether that can still be done, at least in a full time capacity or not.
See Change as a Journey- An Interesting and Fun One
If you always stay the same, you’re stagnating. We need to progress. I truly believe that as we learn and grow, we should become better versions of our true selves.
And if you just keep doing the same things all the time… how on earth aren’t you immensely bored?
Change is a part of life. A lot of it just happens and we can’t stop it. Even the doers of the world (I admire you and wish to be like you), sometimes can only react to whatever life has chucked at them.
Not all change is good. We lose people we love. That is just a fact of life. But we go on knowing we’re better for having loved and being loved by those people.
But getting fired, or seeing that things just aren’t working no matter how hard you’ve tried and finally leaving, or even having to delay certain things, isn’t necessarily bad.
The world, as messed up as it is, and these days, the world seems really, really messed up, is full of possibilities. And we are all capable of so much more than we think.
That thing we think of as terrible (and truly, it might be), may just be what gives us that push in a direction that we’ve overlooked. And once we get there, things just settle into place and you’re somehow better for it.
So perhaps the key is to stop looking at change as this bad thing. I’m not talking about if you decided to start taking drugs for example… that is a bad change, don’t go there.
But rather look at change as new possibilities, an adventure.
Don’t close yourself off to the good things that may be coming your way because you’re holding onto what was or resisting or grumbling about the changes in your life.