My husband has been watching a lot of videos on this topic and even sent me some to watch. While I was sceptical in the beginning (I like to classify myself as a realist :p), I am starting to see that this may be a real thing. I have also been thinking about what my main motivator is in life. It’s definitely not positive thinking!
I am not really where I want to be in life, and have become quite complacent. My main motivator, and the cause for me not being where I want to be or challenging myself, is fear. Fear of failure, for the most part, but also the fear of ending up with financial difficulties and the fear of responsibility.
This I have now come to believe, is because instead of being a realist, I am in fact a negative thinker. I think it’s this way for a lot of people.
I noticed on those days that I felt better on those days when I decided to give myself a good pep talk, and just be really nice to myself, and really encouraging. I felt more positive, happy, had more energy and self-confidence.
I tried telling myself, that yes I made this mistake, or failed at this task, but that it’s part of learning and that now I have just learned a better way to do something. And it helped me to keep things in perspective and use logic rather than really beating myself up about the mishap.
I also found it more motivating to remind myself that I actually do enjoy exercise and feel energized afterwards whenever I struggled to get up off the couch. I would manage to get to the point where I actually do it, and start to enjoy it. When I struggle, I tell myself that I’m doing great, just push a little more, go a little but further, and I do!
I don’t think it magically takes away all the bad things that can happen or the things that get us down, but I do honestly believe that life is what you make of it. You can’t control every single thing that happens to you, but you can choose how you react to them.
It’s also true that often we struggle to control the things that are within our power to control. Sometimes we behave in a harmful way, perhaps forcefully or in anger, or rashly when there’s no need for that. I think it could be due to the fact that we haven’t positively thought about the situation.
Instead of seeing all the things that we can do to positively change a situation, we forget that we are capable of so much more than we imagine. We just see everything that’s wrong instead of the good things that are still around us and in our lives.
Perhaps because we have a lack of self-confidence, we over compensate. This is where being positive comes in. We will boost our self-confidence, and hope for the best, even while preparing for the worst. We will work better, smile more, and accomplish more.
There are new avenues I want to explore in my life. I have been wanting to do them for a few years, but my fears are holding me back. So I decided to write the pros and cons for some of them, and to my surprise, my list of pros were often longer than the cons.
Not only that, but the pros were perfectly logical and very possible! Sometimes we think so hard about what could go wrong, that we forget that things can actually go right, despite the fact that we’ve succeeded or experienced good things in the past.
Next time you think you can’t, or that you aren’t beautiful, that you are a failure, take a moment to tell yourself, yes you can, yes you are beautiful, you are successful.
The thing is, so often the pictures or ideas that we form in our head about ourselves, aren’t always an accurate representation.
Look at what you have accomplished in your life. If you aren’t academic, or sporty, or artistic, you may be really good at making people smile. There is always, I repeat always, something that you are good at and that you’ve excelled at time and time again.
Just try it. Do your best to think positively, even for a week, and see what a difference it can make in your life 🙂