My husband has been watching a lot of videos on this topic and even sent me some to watch. While I was sceptical in the beginning (I like to classify myself as a realist :p), I am starting to see that this may be a real thing. I have also been thinking about what my main motivator is in life. It’s definitely not positive thinking!
I am not really where I want to be in life, and have become quite complacent. My main motivator, the cause for me not being where I want to be or challenging myself is fear. Fear of failure for the most part, but also of ending up in financial difficulties, and fear of responsibility. This I have now come to believe, is because instead of being a realist, I am in fact a negative thinker. I think its this way for a lot of people.
I noticed on those days where I did decide to give myself a good pep talk, and just be really nice to myself, and really encouraging, I did feel more positive, happy, less tired and more self confident. Telling myself, yes I made this mistake, or failed at this task, but that’s part of learning, and now I have just learned a better way to do something. Or when I need to exercise, and I feel really tired, I don’t feel very much like exercising. But the truth is that I enjoy it, and actually feel energised afterwards. When I remind myself of this, I manage to get to the point where I actually do it, and start to enjoy it. When I struggle, I tell myself I’m doing great, just push a little more, go a little but further, and I do!
I don’t think it magically takes away all the bad things that can happen or things that have happened that get us down, but I do honestly believe that life is what you make of it. You can’t control every single thing that happens to you, but you can choose how you react to them. It’s also true that often the things we can control, we struggle to control, or we behave in a harmful way, perhaps forcefully or in anger, or rashly, and it could be due to the fact that we haven’t positively thought about the situation, and that we don’t need to resort to those things, because we are capable of so much more than we imagine. Perhaps because we have a lack of self confidence, we over compensate. This is where being positive comes in. We will boost our self confidence, and hope for the best, even while preparing for the worst. We will work better, smile more, and accomplish more.
There are new avenues I want to explore in my life. and I have been wanting to do them for a few years, but my fears are holding me back. So I decided to write the pros and cons for some of them, and to my surprise, my list of pros were often longer than the cons, and not only that, the pros were perfectly logical, and very possible! Sometimes we think so hard about what could go wrong, that we forget that things can actually go right, and often have in the past.
Next time you think you can’t, or that you aren’t beautiful, or that you are a failure, take a moment to tell yourself, yes you can, yes you are beautiful, you are successful. The thing is, we so often are the better version of ourselves, the pictures we form in our head, are not always an accurate representation. Look at what you have accomplished in your life. If you aren’t academic, or sporty, or artistic, you may be really good at making people smile. There is always, I repeat always, something that you are good at, and you have excelled at that time and time again. Just try it. Do your best to think positively, even for a week, and see what a difference it can make in your life 🙂